HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM IRAN!

December 31st. Just after midnight. Location: Iran. Allegedly.

Happy New Year, everyone! At least… I think that’s what this is.

I’ve covered New Year’s celebrations all over the world — Times Square, Berlin, Paris, even that weird one in Barcelona where people eat grapes and look stressed — but I have to say: Iran does New Year’s very differently. Very… intensely.

INCREDIBLE FIREWORKS — VERY LOUD, VERY CLOSE

The festivities began with what I assumed were fireworks.Huge bangs. Massive flashes. Buildings shaking. People running.

At first I thought, Wow, these Persians really commit to the bit.

Some of the fireworks appear to be:

• Coming from government buildings

• Followed by large fires

• Accompanied by chanting that does not sound festive

But hey — cultural differences! Who am I to judge?

STREET PARTIES EVERYWHERE (VERY AGGRESSIVE VIBES)

The streets are packed. People are out in huge numbers, which is great to see. Very community-focused. Very togetherness.

They’re shouting things like:

• “Death to the dictator”

• “This is the final battle”

• “We are taking back Iran”

I don’t speak Persian, but I think those might be New Year’s slogans? Possibly regional?

Some people are tearing down flags and replacing them with older ones. Love a good retro aesthetic. Vintage is in.

One strange thing I’ve noticed: the fireworks seem to be targeted.

For example:

• A “firework” hit what locals insist is a military base

• Another “celebration pop” freed people from a prison

• Several “sparklers” appear to have chased armed men out of uniform

Again — maybe this is just how they party here.

Very hands-on. Very interactive.

SLIGHT CONFUSION, STILL FESTIVE

I did ask someone nearby if this was a New Year’s celebration.

They looked at me like I was clinically unwell and said something that translated roughly to:

“Revolution, idiot.”

But that could mean revolution of the year, right? Like a fresh start? A reset? New vibes?

Hard to say.

THE ENERGY IS UNMATCHED

I’ll give Iran this:The energy is unreal.

No corporate sponsorships. No countdown clock. No DJ screaming “THREE… TWO… ONE…”

Just:

• Fire

• Crowds

• Rage

• Hope

• And a noticeable absence of fear

Which, again, feels very New Year’s-adjacent.

FINAL THOUGHTS FROM YOUR CONFUSED CORRESPONDENT

So from what I can tell, Iran’s New Year’s Eve includes:

• Explosions (enthusiastic)

• Fires (symbolic?)

• Chanting (passionate)

• Armed groups losing control (unexpected)

• A population acting like tomorrow actually matters

I may be misunderstanding the local customs.I may be underqualified.I may need extraction.

But one thing is clear: If this is a New Year’s party, it’s the wildest one on Earth. If it’s not… then history is happening very loudly.

Either way — Happy New Year from Iran. Someone here is definitely starting fresh.

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