The Democrats’ Eight-Year Suicide Note: A Masterclass in Political Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation

You’d think after losing the 2016 election to a guy they called a joke, the Left would’ve taken a long, hard look in the mirror and re-evaluated their entire ideological life strategy. Maybe even ask: "Are we the baddies?" But no—because introspection is dead, and the Democrat Party is now less a political machine and more a cursed carousel ride where the horses are on fire and everyone’s screaming in six languages about pronouns.

Let’s take a walk through this eight-year progressive fever dream and show exactly how the Democratic Party managed to outmaneuver itself at every turn—without any help from the GOP, foreign actors, or the Illuminati (though you know they tried to get in on the action too).

2016–They Lost to a Meme

They had the media, the money, the tech giants, and the CIA winking at them from across the room—and they still lost. Why? Because they thought Hillary Clinton, the human embodiment of "Terms and Conditions," was a winning candidate. They called middle America “deplorables,” forgot what a factory was, and practically ghosted entire states like Wisconsin and Michigan.

It was like watching someone throw a surprise party for themselves and then forgetting to show up.

2017–2020: The Russiagate Fan Fiction Era

Ah yes, the golden age of MSNBC delusion. For four years straight, they convinced themselves Trump was a Russian asset while pushing a dossier funded by Clinton operatives, peddled through backchannels, and laughed at by half the intelligence community.

Did it work? No. Did they ever apologize? Also no. They just shouted “TREASON!” into the void while CNN hired more ex-CIA talking heads than Langley’s HR department.

Meanwhile, Trump was renegotiating trade with China and brokering peace deals in the Middle East—while the Democrats were busy investigating his Twitter account.

2020: Pandemic Panic & Ballot Harvest Fest

COVID was their dream scenario: mail-in ballots, lockdowns, and fear on tap 24/7. And they still barely pulled off a win—with a candidate who literally campaigned from his basement. Joe Biden’s biggest achievement was not coughing on live TV.

This was the point where the Left went full technocratic authoritarian—mask mandates, vax passports, shutting down churches while keeping liquor stores open. And when people dared to protest? They got branded as domestic terrorists by blue checkmarks and bureaucrats who haven’t seen sunlight since Bush-era torture memos.

2021–2024: The Implosion of “Build Back Better”

Biden's presidency turned out to be a live-action reenactment of Weekend at Bernie’s, propped up by handlers, teleprompters, and ice cream cones. Inflation exploded. The border disintegrated. Ukraine got your tax money faster than your hometown got potholes fixed. And the media kept acting like it was all fine, because Orange Man still bad, right?

Meanwhile, they alienated black voters, Hispanic voters, working-class voters, and even soccer moms, because they thought forcing “Latinx” and drag queens into preschool story time was a political strategy.

2024 and Beyond: They’re Eating Their Own

Now we’re watching the final season of this dumpster fire play out with open Democrat infighting. Biden is a liability. Kamala polls like spoiled milk. RFK Jr. scares them more than MAGA ever did. And yet they double down on the same tactics: censorship, gaslighting, and that weird obsession with making sure no one owns a gas stove.

At this point, the DNC doesn’t need an external enemy. Their biggest threat is a mirror.

Conclusion: They Wrote Their Own Obituary

The Democrats haven’t been “taken down” by Trump or Republicans or QAnon or aliens from Mars. They’ve been in a headlong sprint to political irrelevance powered by arrogance, coastal elitism, and a belief that feelings are more important than facts.

They don't need help getting wrecked. They wreck themselves.

And as we head into 2025, remember this: the globalist Left doesn’t care if the country burns, as long as they get to rule over the ashes. It’s our job to make sure they don’t get the matchbook.

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